"The hardest part of recovery is even knowing what normal eating looks like," I said to my therapist a few months into my first round of treatment. "I can't even remember what hunger feels like." It took me years to really understand my hunger cues - and especially normal fullness cues - were again. I … Continue reading Life with ED: when intuitive eating doesn’t work
On January 9th I went for a late afternoon run. I took a new route, fully around a lake I'd only ever run the length of before. It was one of those January days - that we seem to be having a lot of lately - that make you wonder if it's really April. I … Continue reading Life with ED, the podcast is HERE!!
"Honestly, I'm terrified of the stomach bug," my friend whispered across the table at me. I nodded, thoroughly chewing my first real meal in days. I swallowed. "Yeah," I laughed a little, for years the stomach bug had been one of my biggest fears too. "Me too." Nobody likes being any kind of sick. … Continue reading Life with ED: When you’re sick…
I'm a slow runner. For nearly five years that had been my identity. I ran - a lot - nearly every single day and for on average 30 to 40 miles per week, but I did so slowly. I rarely finished a 6 mile run in under an hour if I was by myself and … Continue reading Give yourself a chance to try
"Anyone else want a cookie?" I asked my new college friends as I stood up to return my empty plate. They all stared at me, pursing their lips slightly. "I really don't want to gain the Freshman 15," one said. "Sorry, I was bad at breakfast so I can't risk a cookie now, I'll be … Continue reading Life with Ed: Drowning in a diet culture
I slid open my closet door in my old bedroom back at my parents house. I was looking for a sweat shirt. It had been 85ºF when I left Maryland and I had seen no reason to pack anything warmer than a t-shirt, but now, at nearly midnight, it was less than 60 and I … Continue reading Life with ED: Relearning to be you
Most of us struggle with moderation, especially when it comes to desserts. Whether it's Thanksgiving, Christmas, your birthday or any of the hundreds of "special days" that seem to have sprung up in the past few years having enough self control to not overdue it at the sweets table is extremely challenging. When you throw … Continue reading Life with ED: The dilemma of desserts
For the past 4.5 years the National Eating Disorder Awareness week has meant the world to me. It's one week out of the year where there seems to be at least a few more people talking about what myself and thousands of others struggle with day in and day out. There is a little more … Continue reading Wrapping up NEDA week with my first ever talk on body positivity
For everyone out there (like me) who follows Runner's World on nearly every social media platform, you're probably well aware of their #RWRunStreak. If you don't or aren't, here's the short version... Runner's World encourages everyone to run at least one mile each day between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day. This year that is 40 … Continue reading When you can’t join the run streak
Some people tear up at the movies, some at weddings, some when lost, alone, in the woods at night. And, although I can not deny that last one (I HATE THE DARK), the quickest, most reliable way to get me to cry is with this simple, well known phrase. "Hi I'm [fill in any name … Continue reading Life with ED: Fear of scales
