"The hardest part of recovery is even knowing what normal eating looks like," I said to my therapist a few months into my first round of treatment. "I can't even remember what hunger feels like." It took me years to really understand my hunger cues - and especially normal fullness cues - were again. I … Continue reading Life with ED: when intuitive eating doesn’t work
Recently, I discovered (read was shown by boyfriend) the Reddit page Expectations vs. Reality. At first I just left. It's incredibly relatable: the food you picture from a restaurant description verses what you get, the DIY crafts or cookies that never seem to turnout like the examples, the clothes that never fit the way they … Continue reading The days you don’t instagram
On January 9th I went for a late afternoon run. I took a new route, fully around a lake I'd only ever run the length of before. It was one of those January days - that we seem to be having a lot of lately - that make you wonder if it's really April. I … Continue reading Life with ED, the podcast is HERE!!
"Honestly, I'm terrified of the stomach bug," my friend whispered across the table at me. I nodded, thoroughly chewing my first real meal in days. I swallowed. "Yeah," I laughed a little, for years the stomach bug had been one of my biggest fears too. "Me too." Nobody likes being any kind of sick. … Continue reading Life with ED: When you’re sick…
I'm a slow runner. For nearly five years that had been my identity. I ran - a lot - nearly every single day and for on average 30 to 40 miles per week, but I did so slowly. I rarely finished a 6 mile run in under an hour if I was by myself and … Continue reading Give yourself a chance to try
"Anyone else want a cookie?" I asked my new college friends as I stood up to return my empty plate. They all stared at me, pursing their lips slightly. "I really don't want to gain the Freshman 15," one said. "Sorry, I was bad at breakfast so I can't risk a cookie now, I'll be … Continue reading Life with Ed: Drowning in a diet culture
I slid open my closet door in my old bedroom back at my parents house. I was looking for a sweat shirt. It had been 85ºF when I left Maryland and I had seen no reason to pack anything warmer than a t-shirt, but now, at nearly midnight, it was less than 60 and I … Continue reading Life with ED: Relearning to be you
Most of us struggle with moderation, especially when it comes to desserts. Whether it's Thanksgiving, Christmas, your birthday or any of the hundreds of "special days" that seem to have sprung up in the past few years having enough self control to not overdue it at the sweets table is extremely challenging. When you throw … Continue reading Life with ED: The dilemma of desserts
For the past 4.5 years the National Eating Disorder Awareness week has meant the world to me. It's one week out of the year where there seems to be at least a few more people talking about what myself and thousands of others struggle with day in and day out. There is a little more … Continue reading Wrapping up NEDA week with my first ever talk on body positivity
When most people think about eating disorders they think of anorexia nervosa. They think of the girl who is incredibly skinny and always refusing to eat. Occasionally someone might think of bulimia nervosa or binge eating disorder, but it is important to recognize that there are many, many types of disordered eating. For the fifth … Continue reading Life with ED: The fine line between healthy and disordered
We walked into the restaurant, bundled up in our winter coats, hats and gloves, standing a little awkwardly apart from each other, it was our first official date after all. "Table for two," I said to the hostess. She led us to a square table right in the middle of the room, introducing us to … Continue reading Life with ED: Dating when ED’s the third wheel
"Excuse me, are you in line?" a soft voice asked from just over my shoulder. "Uh, yes" I said, nearly jumping back on to the man in fear. I was so confused. Of course I was in line, I thought. Here I was standing behind the current person picking up their prescription at CVS, what … Continue reading Life with ED: I’m too fat for that
